And with that, I am going to have to say that I am grateful for fear. It's embarrassing and a shame, that it's taken fear in order for me to truly realize how thankful and grateful I am this Thanksgiving. In the past, I've had to take a moment, and ask myself, "What am I thankful for?" To which I'd start off my list with, "hmm.. what am I thankful for..."
This year though, I find myself yearning to hold the ones dear to me. And when I do, I send a prayer of thanksgiving, and ask for safety and health for that person (dog and cat).
For the first time in my sheltered life, I have been nervous or scared, that truly... I may never see this person again. Sure, I've had moments where this thought would hit me..maybe after a movie.. or a book.. or some news article. But recently, I have been living with a pinch of continual fear.
And it has planted a realization in me, that if things were to be taken away from me, right now, I would have one too many regrets.
From before Catalina was born, I'd always pray for a "healthy, happy, beautiful, and smart baby that is a follower of Christ." Now, before I lay her down in her crib, or leave her for work, I pray, "God, please keep her safe and healthy." That's it. That's all I need. Everything else, is either trivial, or something we can work on, but her safety and health... God, I need just those two, because I need to see her again.
I don't get into politics, because I know far too little about it, and even if I read, heard, saw "everything" there is to see, I would still miss the most important parts - the stories that are untold.
All I know is, as I hold my child, my husband, my family members, and my friends in my arms, I have been praying to be able to see them again safely as I have been able to do so in that moment. And regardless of political standings, nationality or religious beliefs, I believe any innocent mother should have the right to hold her innocent child , and pray the same prayer.
This holiday season, we start off with Thanksgiving dinner at the in-laws tomorrow. We also have extended family in from Korea. There's much planned, and much to do... but truly, truly, truly, I'm just grateful for hearts still beating in our chests, and our roofs still over our heads. My heart is heavy and goes out to those that are not as fortunate as me.
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